In Desperate Need Of A Rescue
by Eilidh17
Summary: Daniel and Vala. A cave. Words happen that confuse everyone, most especially Daniel.


**In Desperate Need Of A Rescue**

As people were dying by the thousands, their worlds falling to the moral and vengeful might of the Ori, and the galaxy was once again plunged into chaos…

… Daniel was stuck in a cave with Vala.

It all seemed so cliché.

"I'm-"

"Don't say it."

"But-"

Daniel raised a hand in the air, in a gesture that would normally silence Vala, but then realized a little too late that she couldn't _actually_ see what he was doing. The move was hollow, a waste of his energy, and yet he almost felt in control.

Almost.

"Just... just close your eyes and get some rest." Something he had been telling himself to do for the last few hours, and probably would have achieved had Vala not decided to voice her frustration at not only being stuck in a cave, but at the lack of entertainment.

"Or something?" she added with just a hint of annoyance in her tone. "We've been here for hours, Daniel. Hours! How long does it take to get back to the Stargate and rustle up one of those quaint little rescue teams of yours?"

"They're yours, too, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Right, well, patch on the shoulder, monthly deposit of bounty into my treasure chest, sign here, thank you ma'am. Is that what makes it so?"

"A little more complicated than that, but this _is_ what you signed up for."

"Well," Vala huffed loud enough for her voice reverberated off the back wall of the cave, making Daniel cringe. "If by signing you mean _actually_ agreeing to all those rules and regulations your government insists I have to abide by, then I'm afraid I'll have to plead the 5th."

"Amendment?"

"Yes. That."

"You don't want to say anything that might incriminate yourself?"

"Well, that doesn't sound right. The 4th?"

"The prohibiting of search and seizure without a warrant?"

"3rd?"

"Vala!"

"How about the 2nd? Two has always been lucky for me."

"The right to bear arms?"

"Why would I want bear arms when I'm perfectly happy with the ones I have?"

"Vala!"

"I would imagine the bears aren't too happy with the 2nd Amendment. I know I wouldn't be."

"VALA!"

"Yes, Darling?"

"I watched you. Sign your name. I was there, remember?"

"And there's several hours of my life I'll never get back."

"It took two barely two seconds!"

"The act of signing, yes, but I spent hours practicing. Hours and hours and-"

"You signed with a letter X!"

"A _very_ cute X! Besides, I'm hardly at fault for not knowing how to write when the rest of the galaxy has gone past the need for primitive writing implements and graduated to more sophisticated methods of sealing contracts."

"Fists? Zats? Staff blast to the head? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but most civilizations in this galaxy are at a technological level equivalent to the dark ages on Earth. With one or two exceptions."

"Your point?"

Hell if he knew. He couldn't even remember what they were arguing over. "I guess my point is that it'll take some time for search and rescue to arrive, so you may as well conserve your energy and get some sleep."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

He could hear her shuffling closer to her him, just seconds before one hand slapped at his chest, his head, then down towards his groin.

"Vala!"

"Oh, sorry," Vala whispered. "I was just trying to find you."

"You found me, okay!"

With her bearings now in check, she slid alongside Daniel and nudged his shoulder. "I'm worried."

"They'll get us out," he said, softening his tone at her sudden show of concern.

"Not that. I'm worried about you."

"Me? I'll be fine."

"And there! Right there, Daniel, is why I know you won't be fine."

"Huh?"

She patted his leg and let her head drop to his shoulder. "Cameron warned me, you know."

"He did?"

"Uh huh. He said, 'If Jackson says he's fine, then check for injuries because he probably isn't'."

"He said that?"

"Yup. Well, that was the oh-so-slightly abbreviated version, but you get the general idea."

"Abbreviated?"

"As in shortened, abridged, condensed-"

"I know what abbreviated means. Just a little surprised you do."

"Oh, don't be. I Googled it. You know, just in case we ever had this conversation."

Hiding a look of surprise was fairly irrelevant when trapped in total darkness. "You Google words on the off-chance of needing them one day?"

"Think of this less as me using Google and more finding an online service to provide a list of worlds with similar meanings."

"You mean a thesaurus?"

"Yes."

"So, why not just say thesaurus?"

Daniel felt Vala shrug against his shoulder and figured that was about as much explanation he was going to get on the subject.

"Anyway," she continued on, and he tried not to sigh out loud. "You landed on me, the rocks landed on you, therefore you are not fine."

"It's just a scratch."

"Bleeding gash?"

"No... a scratch."

"Gouging laceration, possible infection?"

"Scratch!"

"Deep muscle bruising, possible cracked or broken ribs?"

"Vala!"

"I should check you over."

Yes, because that was going to happen. He had to think fast, stay one step ahead of her. "In the dark?"

"Flashlight?"

"Broken when the entrance collapsed."

"Oh, well, then a hands-on examination it is!" She curled one hand around his right bicep and slipped the other hand inside his jacket, feeling her way downwards. "Don't worry, darling, I promise to be gentle."

Daniel was about to protest when his radio came to life.

_"Yo! Jackson! Vala! You two still alive in there?"_

The End


End file.
